My Life with “Sheila,” My Inner Critic

Resilience, Self-Compassion / By / 3 minutes of reading

“If you don’t change direction, you’ll end up going in the same direction.” —Yogi Berra I love this quote by Yogi Berra, because it reminds me that I actually have to do things differently to get a different result. As the old adage goes, “If you do what you did, you get what you got.” That’s the story of my relationship with “Sheila,” my inner critic. Why Sheila? I don’t know, I just figured that I had to give her a name so that I could create some space between her and me. It was a way to remind myself …

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Embrace Space

Mindfulness / By / 3 minutes of reading

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” —Viktor Frankl Viktor Frankl’s wise words capture so much of the heart of mindfulness—SPACE. When we cultivate space in our lives, we step out of reactivity and gain the power to choose wiser and more discerning responses to the circumstances of our lives. And then, as Frankl so aptly observed, we are able to grow and feel more free. What is SPACE? When Frankl uses the word space, he is referring to mental …

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How to Feel Your Feelings

Children & Youth, Mindfulness, Parenting, Resilience, Self-Compassion / By / 3 minutes of reading

“The fastest way to freedom is to feel your feelings.” —Gita Bellin I love this quote because it truly blows my mind! What does that mean? How do I feel my feelings? How does that lead to freedom? Although my mind doesn’t entirely understand, my heart feels an immediate sense of relief. Oh. I just have to feel. I don’t have to fight or resist or push anything away. Just feel. I start to breathe a little easier. Naming Basic Emotions It is important to get both heart and mind on board together when learning new things. And so I …

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The Beginning of My Journey

Mindfulness, Recovery & Healing / By / 2 minutes of reading

We live in a fast-paced world, and often everything seems to be spinning out of control. I know well the feeling that I could scream if someone gave me one more thing to do or keep track of. A few years ago, when I was going through a divorce, a change in employment, and a son in the throes of addiction, I just wanted to give up. I had tried everything I could think of: working harder and more hours; giving everyone around me advice on how they should live their lives; worrying incessantly; and demanding that things be done …

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Why The !%*? Did I Say That?

Mindful Communication, Mindfulness, Relationships / By / 4 minutes of reading

“The willingness to show up changes us;  it makes us a little braver each time.” —Brené Brown Why the !%*? did I say that? I don’t know how many times I’ve agonized over that question or a similar one, like “I really screwed that up; what made me yell at him like that?” Or, “I know I’m right about this—why can’t she see it?” Or,  “I wonder if he  thinks I’m an idiot for saying that?” I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time sitting with either my embarrassment or my self-righteousness. Through the lens of  mindfulness, I began to see …

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Multitasking Is Good for You!

Mindfulness / By / 3 minutes of reading

Are you thinking what I’m thinking? “I thought multitasking was bad for you!” “Isn’t multitasking the exact opposite of mindfulness?!” You’re probably reacting this way for good reason. Studies have shown when we try to focus on more than one thing at a time, it can cause a 40% drop in productivity. It can also lower your IQ by ten points, which can feel the same as losing a whole night of sleep! And if you use a cell phone or hands-free device while driving, it is comparable to having a blood alcohol level of .08%. Yikes! Multitasking certainly doesn’t …

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Therapy as “Assisted” Mindfulness

Mindfulness / By / 4 minutes of reading

A few years ago, I took a ride with my family in a horse-drawn carriage through Central Park. If you have ever had this experience, you may have noticed the “blinders” the horses wear to cover a portion of their eyes. Blinders are small, square pieces of leather designed to block out some of the horse’s peripheral vision. They help the horse stay focused and not spook as easily, which supports their ability to safely navigate the pathways of the park. Much like the horses of Central Park, we put on “blinders” of our own in order to safely navigate …

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Why Leaders Need Mindfulness

Leadership, Mindfulness / By / 2 minutes of reading

During my career, I’ve been in many leadership positions and I’ve worked with many different leaders. We all seem to get tripped up and stumble in the same places, and our effectiveness suffers. We don’t take the time, or aren’t able, to get through all the noise and confusion to see what is actually happening; we can’t clear enough mental space in our overloaded brains to come up with groundbreaking solutions; and we too often lose touch with the very people that can help us navigate change successfully. The qualities of an effective leader that I’ve observed and experienced really …

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Practicing Mindfulness: Intention, Attention, Attitude

Mindfulness / By / 2 minutes of reading

There are three essential elements to the practice of mindfulness: Intention, attention, and attitude. INTENTION is WHY we practice. It’s what brought us to this practice and what keeps us practicing, it’s what is really important to us? Are we practicing to heal a physical or emotional wound, to reduce our stress, or simply for the joy and equanimity it brings to our lives? ATTENTION is WHAT we practice. What we are engaged in is paying attention to this very moment. We know that our mind will wander into thoughts of the past and future, that’s just what the mind …

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How I Teach My Kids Mindfulness

Children & Youth, Parenting / By / 4 minutes of reading

“How do you teach your kids to practice mindfulness meditation?” This is one of the most common questions I am asked when people find out that I teach mindfulness meditation for a living. I am often met with a look of confusion when I answer, “I don’t teach my kids how to practice meditation.” Let me explain. But before I do, what is mindfulness? Mindfulness is the simple practice of training your attention to focus in the present moment with full acceptance. Why wouldn’t I teach my children this simple tool when it has been shown to support mental, physical …

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